I don’t like roller coasters. The older I have gotten the more my desire to avoid roller coasters has grown. I suppose I wouldn’t have a problem getting on a very vanilla style roller coaster but these new contraptions that have the appearance of some kind of torture, no thanks!
I remember when my kids, now in the their late 30’s and early 40’s, decided that they “loved” roller coasters. When they were in high school, the once held view that roller coasters should be avoided shifted to full on participation. In one sense I was happy that all three of them felt the same way. Since they all wanted to ride, they weren’t really looking to me to tag along with them.
One day we all found ourselves at a really large amusement park that liked to brag about how amazingly fast and scary their roller coasters were. The kids were excited and couldn’t wait to get through the entrance turnstiles and get to them. There were 2 that immediately caught their attention. The first featured a series of loops that went very high to start. The second was one where your feet would hang unsupported as you went through a series of loops both backward and forward. They were so excited to get on these coasters and were chatting together in a way that a parent wishes his children would relate to one another. Instead of arguing about who was going to sit in which spot in the car they were setting out on an adventure together. Instead of watching sibling rivalry I got to see sibling support. All was going well with them until something potentially devastating happened. They discovered that only 2 could ride together in one car.
None of them wanted to ride with a stranger and none of them wanted to be left watching while the other 2 were having the time of their lives. I watched the ensuing negotiations of how this crisis would be managed and was starting to make me question why we came to the amusement park at all. Their jubilation had turned to bickering and it was pretty ugly.
I don’t know which of the three came up with what even they knew was an unrealistic solution. One of them laughingly said, “hey dad, you could go with one of us”. It would have been an elegant solution except, I hate roller coasters! I suppose that is why they laughed when suggesting it but then something weird happened. I decided to ride the roller coasters.
When I told my kids that I would be willing to ride with them and alleviate the problem they were ecstatic. Now, instead of being “dad”, I was one of them and participating in the nervous chatter being shared while we waited in line for the torture chamber, I mean roller coaster. We rode roller coasters until we were all tired and I am happy to report I survived it, no stomach contents were lost, and most importantly I had a great time with my kids!
If you think this blog post is the beginning to my new found love of roller coasters, I am sorry to disappoint you. I still don’t like roller coasters but I would hope that if I faced a similar situation where given the choice of asserting my wants or taking one for the team, I would choose the later.
Being a part of any group like a family or a church is going to inevitably put before us a similar choice. Do I insist on my preference or do I step outside of myself and join others in their preference? The Apostle Paul called this kind of submitting to one another having the “mindset of Christ”. It goes against our natural desires to insist on having things our way and choose to willingly put the needs of someone else before our own.
I think back on that day with my kids with great fondness. I still shake my head when I think about me riding these horribly scary roller coasters. I am thankful for a valuable lesson that the day taught me: sometimes the solution to a group’s problem is me stepping out of my comfort zone for the sake of the group. I hope I will be up for it again when it happens and I will remember that harmony trumps fear when I think about life beyond myself.
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